Monday, May 4, 2009

Week 5, Day 1: April 21, 2009

Seven more days until my first appointment and I am already stressing about what they will find. Will the embryo be in the right place? Did it get lost on its way from the tube and end up somewhere it shouldn’t have? You know these kids today!!

Of course, my other stress is the pending blood draw that will take place that day. I am already trying to figure out how to maintain my composure during the procedure and, so far, have only come up with my iPod and T! I may need more than that but I have seven days to agonize over it.

Everything seems to be going pretty well from what I can tell on the outside. The bout of sickness must have been caused by nasty Cracker Barrel and not by hormones. I wasn’t sick at all last night. I made it to the gym this morning and really felt good about what I accomplished. However, I did feel weak on a couple of weight machines but decided not to push it too much. I want to stay in shape but I don’t want to do any damage either.

My girls are still sore and I am starting to feel fatigued and out of breath easily – but that could be because I didn’t eat much yesterday. I had a salad for lunch today, Fat Free Wheat Thins, Cream Cheese and Salsa for a snack and about to warm up some chili left overs for dinner. Let’s see how all that stays down. I think it will be fine.

I need to stop reading all of the different research out there. This is my new resolution. Everyone says something different and everything is worded to scare the life (quite literally) out of you! For instance, I read that you shouldn’t have caffeine AT ALL during the first tri because it could increase the chances of a miscarriage. However, I had read someplace else that anything under 200 mg is fine. I have been partaking in the only vice I can have right now – my Circle K ice tea – for the last two weeks! Now I don’t know what to do…stop or keep on? I looked up the amount of caffeine Lipton fountain tea has and, my 32 oz serving only gets me to about 30 mg of caffeine a day.

Seven more days…the dreaded but hoped for week 6….

Dear Baby,

How are YOU enjoying the Circle K ice tea? Actually, I don’t think that you receive any nutrients or substances directly from me at this time. You are still a pretty self contained little cell cluster the size, I am told, of a sesame seed. That’s pretty small!

I know you are busy in there trying to make yourself look good and feel good, which is very important to me. But, if you think of it next Tuesday, could you give me a boost of confidence when I go up against the dreaded needle? I don’t want to scare you about those things before you are even out but Mommy has a VERY hard time with them and could use a little boost of love!

Keep working hard! I don’t mind the mild cramping and the sleepies if that means you are doing good!


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