It has been a hard couple of days for me. My hormones have been in a whirlwind since Saturday which results in multiple tears at random times. Some moments when a full boo-hoo plays out. It is pretty crazy but somewhat refreshing as well. It is almost as if my tear ducts need to be cleansed and purged!
I think - no matter how much you planned for a pregnancy, want a pregnancy or knew what that pregnancy would mean to your altered life - you will have moments when it is all overwhelming, frustrating, boring or all of the above. It is natural. Although I knew going into this pregnancy all the things I would have to give up and alter, at least temporarily, it doesn't change the fact that there are days when I kinda wish I was at the end of this pregnancy - in a healthy way, of course. I want to be myself again, go where I want to go, eat what I want to eat, drink what I want to drink and NOT be the center of attention (whether it be good or bad) because I am a pod.
But today has been much better on my soul. I finally went back to the gym after many (and, no, I haven't counted) weeks of being absent. It was refreshing and rejuvenating. I need to stick with this routine so that a) I can get the baby fat off quicker and easier, b) I can jump into personal "kick butt" training quicker postpartum and c) to help keep my mind cleansed. Of course the visit made me pretty tired and I haven't accomplished much else today of interest or productivity. But there is still some days of the week remaining...
Latest fun things, I have still been feeling a lot of movement. No specific time of the day although it seems to hit more in the mornings and evenings. I even felt some stuff during the night last night when I had my usual wake up around 2 AM. T actually felt a faint "thump" on my belly yesterday. That was pretty exciting.
Other than that, my appetite hasn't picked up. I eat about the same amounts and don't really crave anything out of the norm. As a matter of fact, the heartburn I tend to get at times has kinda kept me from eating too much dinner so I am probably eating a bit less than I did pre-pregnancy. I am still desperately missing my beer and my occasional Meyers and Diet. Sometimes I will take a sip of T's beer and then realize what a tease that actually is. That's why I don't do it often.
My belly is definitely growing and my back is starting to ache a bit more frequently. Especially when I sit for long periods of time. Leaning over to pick things up is very interesting. I feel like there are a ton of loose bricks in my stomach that all fall forward when I lean forward. It feels very bizarre when I stand back up straight and feel all the "bricks" move back up as well. Maybe it's baby, maybe it's uterus, maybe it's fluid, maybe it's fat but there is something that weighs me down face first when I am leaning over. It was interesting today at the gym when I was doing the plank exercise. This is where you are face down on the mat with your elbows under your shoulders and your legs straight behind you. You prop yourself up on your elbows and toes, keeping your back straight and your abs tucked in. It is a great core exercise and the only ab move I could do while the stability ball was being used. It was so much harder than I remembered thanks to my bricks!!
We received another gift off of our registry. My Dad and StepMom gave us our baby movement monitor. It is supposed to sound an alarm if the baby hasn't moved for a certain amount of time in the crib. There are great comments about the product from other moms so I was excited to register for it...and very excited to receive it!! Thanks again Dad and StepMom!
I'm feeling movement right now as I type!!
Our next appointment is Thursday at 10:15. I think it will be a quick session of measurements and listening to the heartbeat. As long as I keep feeling this movement everyday, I probably won't be too concerned about going. That will be a nice switch from the norm!!
21 week belly pic:
I am going to start adding some simple stats to my blog to help you follow along with the progress of cashew. I receive an email every week letting me know the progress of cashew for that week. Here is what we know of 21 weeks.
Weight: About 3/4 of a pound
Length: About 10-1/2" long (like a carrot or banana)
Latest developments: Taste buds developed and able to taste, eyebrows and eye lids are developed, swallowing amniotic fluid and may develop hiccups
Latest developments with me: Not anything new other than a growing gut. Frequent heartburn and indigestion, energy bursts followed by exhaustion, kicking and rolling by baby
Weight: I weighed myself at the gym and was right at 148. So around a 5 to 6 lb weight gain
Cravings: Nothing out of the norm
Aversions: Nothing out of the norm
Milestones: T was able to feel movement yesterday!
Thought of the day/week: I feel like time is creeping by...looking forward to my appointment Thursday, though!
Sorry I have been such an emotional wreck the last several days. I assure you it has nothing to do with you personally. I love you very much and I don't ever regret being with you now or having you later! It's just hard to be in a pregnant rut. You are so limited in what you can and can't do and it only gets worse thanks to the media. I know you don't know what that is but, unfortunately, you will. Mommy worked in the media madness and can tell you - don't trust anything you hear on the news! It is totally biased and one-sided.
But I digress. I just want you to be healthy and happy and, by the feel of things in there, I think you are! I feel you everyday now and it is both awesome and kinda freaky. Sometimes you hit the same spot so much that it kinda freaks my mind out a little. I always think to myself that I wish you would stop but, then again, I don't want you to.
Not sure if I have told you yet or not. We have your name picked out whether you are a girl or a boy. Daddy doesn't want to tell anyone the names until you are born to add to the exciting announcement. I think he is going to have a lot of fun with that!
Kizzy has definitely taken over your crib! I am going to have to re-wash your comforter (which you won't use for a long while anyway) and I will probably have to lint roll the mattress! He is in there about everyday. He's keeping it warm for you!
Your big sister started kindergarten on Monday. I was so excited for her and for us! I looked around at all the other kids and thought "cashew will be going to school for the first time someday!!" I got all excited and teary just thinking about it! I am really looking forward to those days. Not that I am not looking forward to the baby days. I just know that I will do really well with you as you get older and start school! That's such a fun time!!
I think that's all for now. I am looking forward to hearing your heartbeat on Thursday. I am sure I will hear some movement as well. You are quite the acrobat in there! Oh, hey...while you are in there...can you do something to help with the heartburn?? Help a mother out, would ya?
Love you always!
Mommy & Daddy